[x]

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

FrostbiteNumbness
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.

It spreads, like fire,
Like ice.
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
Pat –pat
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.

I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
Up…
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?

What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
Hello?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –

Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival

(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Happily AloneHonesty,
She does not have,
Personalities,
She has many of them.

A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.

If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.

She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.

She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
No color,
nobody else.

Then,
she will smile,
why,
because she is truly happy alone.

She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;

this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).

You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.

So what do you do?

You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
dainty arms…

and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
sight.

(But beauty isn’t everything)

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

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Not Worth ItA burning sensation in my nose builds
as my eyes start to itch incessantly
forming tiny drops of salt water
coalescing into pools of tears
that burst forth and pour out
flowing down the bridge of my nose
dripping into the cleft above my lip
mixing with the mucus that has escaped,
sliding over my swollen, blistered lips
combining with saliva, turning into drool,
leaking down my chin, onto my shirt,
making a mess, just because you said,
I wasn't worth it.

atrophy of the mindI've got two brain cells left;
one's standing still
    and the other is chasing it.

a train
tied
to its tracks;

a plane crash
replacing
it.

a hemisphere
cut in half -

distance
in fractions
reviewed.

My mind is running down my face
and I can't find a cup
                    to catch it in.

life's
something that
keeps happening.

and, while
conscious (of this fact),
you think

(nothing)

of the moments
it's happening
to you.

My ears fell off a while ago,
if you are still talking

drugs and sexdoing lines of coke off her thighs
dropping acid in my eyes
getting a shotgun from her lips
watching the curve of her hips

snorting K from her lip
eating a pill and taking a sip
from a bottle of one-fifty-one
trying to increase my fun

higher than a weather balloon
she heats the water in the spoon
and I stick the needle in my vein
wincing at the little bit of pain

pain – pleasure
all together
her and I
until we die

popping pills
speed kills
taste her sweet Georgia peach

night time
try to rhyme
a phrase like eating her vagi …

na wait a minute
what was I thinkin
I'm just sinkin
deeper into her

over and over
p

emptyIn my hands
I hold
nothing

conversionlove

into you I climb
nestled safe and warm
relying on you
until you spit me out

converting me into
a jaded lie

into hate

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loneliness and camel crickets

by =VertigoArt, Nov 23, 2012, 5:18:35 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Sometimes I feel alone
even when your arms
are wrapped tightly
around me.

Sometimes I feel unwanted
even when your lips
are pressed against mine
and you whisper
"I love you".

There are times
when the only thing
that will do
are my arms
wrapped
around me
and even then
I still feel
trapped.

There are times
when I can do
nothing at all
to "turn that
frown upside down",

because that frown is my face,
my passive face
my face I forget to take off
when I am out in the world,
it is my face for you,
it is my face for me,
it is what I have
and all that I have
means I can give no more.

loneliness and camel cricketsby =VertigoArt

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

Loneliness and camel crickets

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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~Negative-Pallor Dec 5, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

wow, this kicks ass!

=VertigoArt Dec 6, 2012

Thank you. While writing it I caught and killed 6 camel crickets which is why they are in the name.

~Negative-Pallor Dec 9, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

welcome

`YouInventedMe Nov 24, 2012 Writer

sometimes I feel this feeling

=VertigoArt Nov 25, 2012

I am sorry to hear that. When you say things like this I forget that I don't know you.

*rlkirkland Nov 24, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Finding places of peace in our lives is a life-long endeavor.
Enjoy each as they come along.

=VertigoArt Nov 24, 2012

Writing quotes now are we?

You know I always appreciate your words of wisdom sir. Thank you.

*rlkirkland Nov 24, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Eh, you know how OLD people are.

My perspective of life is honed by my DA friends.

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loneliness and camel crickets

loneliness and camel cricketsby =VertigoArt

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