baby blue eyes hidden in a ring of red,
salty tracks running down pale cheeks
covered in coarse two day old stubble,
a blistered and rosy nose, showing signs
of being blown too much and a set of chapped
bleeding lips turned down in a perpetual frown
ever since the tears stopped and I found that
I could cry no more, not because I was no
longer upset or sad, but because I was tired
and worn out, I was done giving you the
satisfaction of knowing just how bad you hurt me;
so now I wash my face and wipe away the traces
of your vacancy and plaster a smile that never
really reaches my eyes; fooling only myself
and, for now, that’s all that matters
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Comments
 "Washing You Away"?
-- ~Those talked over oft times make the best writers. --- yeah, I'm one of those "I really like this, good job!" critics. So sue me... --- I support: =DailyLitDeviations *100ThemesChallenge ~Prompt-A-Day ~CollabLit not bad ... Thank you for the suggestion, now what did you think of the piece
 -- Check out *DailyLitDeviations a group dedicated to bring literary art to the forefront of our community. A.B.C ~ Always Be Creating Poetic Visions of an Uncut Mind: [link] i love it....i can see your tear stained face....just wanna hug you til you stop!
-- ~Those talked over oft times make the best writers. --- yeah, I'm one of those "I really like this, good job!" critics. So sue me... --- I support: =DailyLitDeviations *100ThemesChallenge ~Prompt-A-Day ~CollabLit Thank you
-- Check out *DailyLitDeviations a group dedicated to bring literary art to the forefront of our community. A.B.C ~ Always Be Creating Poetic Visions of an Uncut Mind: [link]  I was thinking "keeping up appearances" as a title suggestion, but I'm not certain if that reflects the emotion or rather struggle or lack of emotion being reflected in this poem. The lines are short and broken, as if reflecting the person's thoughts and inability to create harmony within him/herself, which really reflects the dissonance in his/her life.
Hm. "traces of vacancy" - hers are being wiped away physically, but the emptiness in his eyes and smile still show? -- Wandering the rain soaked nights. Searching for a storm to wash away these blood-stained tears "If you are an Unknown, you must have a variable in your name." [Kat] "The road to hell is paved with adverbs" [Stephen King] Thank you for the ideas.
-- Check out *DailyLitDeviations a group dedicated to bring literary art to the forefront of our community. A.B.C ~ Always Be Creating Poetic Visions of an Uncut Mind: [link] You're welcome.
-- Wandering the rain soaked nights. Searching for a storm to wash away these blood-stained tears "If you are an Unknown, you must have a variable in your name." [Kat] "The road to hell is paved with adverbs" [Stephen King]  I remember how that feels. God I remember. An excelent piece. It is very well written and has the true emotions running deep through it's words.
--  Am I a freak just because I have no heart? ~OrganizationRejects When the world ends, I am throwing a party. If you read and write, check out *DailyLitDeviations Thank you very much
-- Check out *DailyLitDeviations a group dedicated to bring literary art to the forefront of our community. A.B.C ~ Always Be Creating Poetic Visions of an Uncut Mind: [link] |
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